The Halloween Video I Didn’t Make
Sunday, November 13th, 2016So I had this silly idea for a Halloween video with my kid:
INT. HOUSE -- EVENING
TYLER is working on his computer at home when he hears a knock at the door. He walks over, opens the door, and sees KID VAMPIRE.
KID VAMPIRE
Hi!
TYLER
Err ... hi?
KID VAMPIRE
Can I come in?
TYLER (SUSPICIOUSLY)
Are you a vampire?
KID VAMPIRE
No.
TYLER
Oh, okay.
CUT TO:
INT. HOUSE -- EVENING
TYLER is lying on the floor and KID VAMPIRE is biting his neck.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Although vampires can not enter a household without first being invited in, they can, in fact, lie. Protect yourself by following these precautions:
CUT TO:
TYLER is shoving GARLIC towards KID VAMPIRE, outside the door.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Garlic.
KID VAMPIRE
Hiss!
CUT TO:
TYLER is splashing HOLY WATER on KID VAMPIRE, outside the door.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Holy water.
KID VAMPIRE
Hiss!
CUT TO:
TYLER is waving a CRUCIFIX on KID VAMPIRE, outside the door.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Or a crucifix.
KID VAMPIRE
What’s that?
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Note, crucifixes may not be effective against heathen vampires.
I thought it was cute. I told my wife about it and she thought it was hilarious. So she asked Dyson if he was excited to make a video with Papa and he said, “I don’t want to.” And that was that. I mean, I tried asking a couple times after that, even offering bribes of video game time. But if you’ve ever been in a contest of wills with a six-year-old, you know how it ends. Also, making videos is my thing, not his.
I’ll be honest. I was a little crestfallen. I had visions of us having fun together making silly videos like this, especially at this age because he’s adorable. But he takes after his mom and he hates performing. He’s much more interested in baseball and running cross country, which I have no idea where he gets. Fortunately, he’s really into video games and cartoons like me, so we bonded over that instead.
Anyways, it can be disappointing when things don’t turn out the way you hope, but you can’t control other people and it’s important to focus on what you can do and what is good.
And yes, this has been a metaphor for how I dealt with the election.
